The Million Woman March and the Necessity of Inclusive Feminism

With the general cacophony of voices speaking about the march, the election, the inauguration, and all of the cultural and societal miscellany buzzing around these days, I want to take some time to reflect on why I’ll be attending the march this weekend, why I am frustrated with the state of affairs in this country, and why it is important to be constantly vigilant in forming a coalition to realign our country with the values I believe most of us share.

The march is an obvious place to start. Feminism. Sexism. Misogyny. What is my relationship with feminism? Have I experienced those things? What is my personal history with gender inequality? Those are the types of questions that I asked myself when starting to write. To my own surprise, I really could not think of that many experiences where I had specifically encountered an outrageous incident of sexism. When I was in eighth grade a boy told me to make him a sandwich because my place was in the kitchen? Not necessarily a groundbreaking story.

Reflecting on my own experience doesn’t serve to undermine the discussion about very real and troubling instances of sexual assault, abuse, and other instances of blatant discrimination on the basis of gender. However, I think that it is important to bring to light the subtle slant in society towards men that many women, particularly those that have lived lives of privilege, may not see.

I couldn’t pick out of my own experience a particularly egregious incident of sexism, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t experienced, or am immune to, the subtle permeation of sexism throughout our society. But, for many women, looking at you Tomi Lahren, because they haven’t experienced blatant sexism gender issues just aren’t on the forefront of their daily lives. They aren’t uncomfortable with situations where men are clearly the dominant and driving force of meaningful discussion. Chivalry is an important part of their self-validation. Their framework for thinking about their daily lives just isn’t set on an underlying radar picking up the subtle traces of sexism that exist in movies, TV, ads, workplaces, etc.

Maybe we can’t reach Tomi Lahren, because let’s be honest she’s a social climbing alt-right waste of perfectly good mascara, but average women, we can reach. We can work to make people understand that when I come to work every day and am surrounded by men--male boss, male head of office, male head of building, two male heads of global firm, male male male male male (unless we are talking about the administrative staff, female), it has an impact on your mental psyche. That shouldn’t be “normal”, but it is, because if you walked into the law firm across the street, you’d see the same thing.

This is the kind of subtle challenge that women in the workplace are faced with every day. The very fact that most offices are majority male means that women have to work harder to appear stronger, tougher, and fit in with the boys club that surrounds so many professions. Then they go home and watch TV commercials that overly sexualize women to sell cars, advertise websites, promote movies, etc. They look at politicians on TV, the majority of which are male, and tell their daughters that they can be president one day, despite a long line of men occupying the office with no end in sight. The combination of these experiences shapes the way that women interact in their daily lives, and it shapes the way we teach our kids about gender norms and expectations.

We have to work harder to find ways to make these issues relatable not just to those who are primed to see them, but to those whose lives may not be impacted by, or who have never been told to think of, the ways these issues impact the psyche and success of women. In particular, in many ways, this is hard for those who desire to be the primary caregiver for their children, or opt not to pursue a career, to relate too. And on both sides, we have to support the idea that women can do whatever they want to do. According to Beyoncé, voice of authority on all things relevant, girls run the world. This means they can run businesses, law firms, marathons, households, and other women need to be supportive of whichever paths they take.

I think that progressivism sometimes gets too wrapped up in the application of its message to the majority of those that support its cause. I, for instance, will one day (hopefully) be a lawyer, who you should expect will make just as much money as an equally qualified male counterpart. But as a progressive, I also need to recognize that there is another woman who wants to forgo work to start a family, whose occupation will be “Mom”, and that that is just as important and rewarding as the direction I choose to take.

This weekend, I think that we all need to remind ourselves that the point of this march is to unite all women (and men who support the cause!), not just a few. Cling fiercely to your positions, to your beliefs, to your aspirations, but include in your hope for the equality of all women the success of those that may not share the same ideas as you. In the same way that my attending law school does not threaten traditional family roles for those who choose them, a woman choosing to be a full time mother does not threaten my ability to be successful in the workplace. Inclusiveness is the bulwark of successful social movements, and it is up to us to inspire and incite confidence in the cause from all sides. This means including women who adhere to traditional gender roles, women who defy those roles, anyone who chooses to identify as a woman, and men who support equality and recognize the challenges we face to reach it. Together we triumph, divided we fall.

“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice” - Martin Luther King, Jr.